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Gir

Day 97-100

12,731 miles

Day 97-100: Gir

April 03, 2018 by James Jackson

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"I now understand why David Attenborough is so unflinchingly cheerful"

I’m not sure there are sufficient superlatives to describe just how much we relished our time at this national park. India has 103 parks and we’d already visited one in Rajasthan which was enjoyable but tigerless. (“It’s not a zoo” – Jacko’s refrain to everyone we’ve ever been in a 4x4 with ;- )

Gujurat wasn’t originally on our itinerary but our train ticket man Mr Dandapani insisted quite forcefully we visit when we met him to book the trip. So visit we did. 

Gujurat is Prime minister Modi’s constituency and its run with an iron fist in an iron glove. No alcohol across the state being the most notable firmness of stance; but also, more pleasingly, how it runs its National Parks. Strict quotas about how many cars and guides at one time and for how long so a jeep car park it isn’t.

Click to play video: up close with the lions

We’d pre-organised two trips - one in the early morning and one late afternoon and your stay in Sasan Gir, the town built around the park, really revolves around this. However, on this occasion we also had the pleasure of an impromptu nature walk with the new manager of our hotel and an older man who used to be a trekker but was now the park security gate guard... okay - a slightly random but thoroughly enjoyable afternoon of chatting and ambling through Gir’s fields.

But whilst it was utterly charming to walk to the top of hills,  spot baby deer and crawl into leopard caves (mostly uninhabited I was reliably informed at the time of entering…) it wasn’t a patch on the two days we spent with the lions. Ten in total – including five males playing together, an unheard of occurrence according to our uncharacteristically giddy guide; two lionesses and a cub; and a mating couple who we inadvertently caught in the middle of a bit of afternoon delight… 

At the start of every safari its very easy to resign yourself to ‘probably not seeing anything today’ with gentle reminders from the guides that there are no guarantees but I found that a fair amount of the unexpected pleasure was actually in the anticipation and promise of what might be around the next bend / tree / hillock. 

As it went our experience had the Asiatic lion in abundance and truly, it’s hard to express just how much joy seeing these creatures up ridiculously close brought. I now understand why David Attenborough is so unflinchingly cheerful and in our gratefulness it was a marvel our minds kept returning to for weeks after.


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"Not a zoo!"

In the far northwest of the country now and we’ve nearly completed a full circuit of India. Travel much further north and we’d be back in Rajasthan, where we started three months ago.

Gujarat is a deeply conservative state with complete alcohol prohibition. This is something we’re reminded of when getting off the train and squeezing into a tuktuk. The driver asks if we’ve brought alcohol with us and I tell him ‘no.’ He scowls and narrows his eyes; “I can smell it.” Shamefacedly I try to explain that we were wine tasting in Nashik before living in a tent at a music festival in a vineyard then travelling here overnight in trying circumstances and no, I haven’t showered in days so yes, I’m sure you can small booze now I would very much appreciate it if you could start the motor and take me somewhere I can rebuild myself and rediscover my dignity thank you very much.

We’re here in Sasan Gir at the recommendation of Mr. Dapani, Indian Railways famed representative in the UK who has been helping travellers navigate the needlessly complex rail system from his shabby shop in Wembley for over twenty years. Gir is famous for its national park, a good size at 550 square miles, much of it impenetrable. It's the only home of the Asiatic Lion. Earlier in our trip we visited busy Ranthanbore park and enjoyed our safaris although we saw no tigers and were a little disappointed at just how many tourists (like ourselves) were crammed into fleets of large, noisy trucks and ferried in convoy through the otherwise lovely forests.

Gir is a little different. Huge and sprawling, visitor numbers are strictly controlled and our lodge sits inside the park itself with wildlife right on the doorstep. Our host and a local guide take us for a hike and as we pass through the gates I ask if the lions come close to the lodge. “Quite close” he replies and gestures to the recent carcass of a huge buffalo, big chunks missing from its body in what is unmistakably a big cat attack. It’s explained to us that lions are incredibly lazy, eat infrequently and have no interest in human meat when there are so many fat buffalo and dozy deer to feast on. There are small villages inside the park where life goes on as it has for centuries, the savvy locals mostly untroubled by the sizeable lion population (over 500), although their cattle are at risk. We’re reassured that the last human killed by a lion was fifteen years ago but there’s a definite sense of being closer to nature here than in Ranthanbore.

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Our guide is friendly and keen to talk, translated through our host. He has no education, he says, but knows a lot about Winston Churchill and the Labour Party. We never really explore that topic though, as he beckons us into a dark and gloomy crack in the rocks. Puzzled, we ask what lives in here and are told that it used to be occupied by a holy man but these days it’s the occasional home of a leopard. We peer into the corners and back out carefully.

Our eagle-eyed guide natters on incomprehensibly, pointing out animals we would never have spotted; prairie bunnies, wild boar, deer and nilgai; weird, stocky creatures with the body of a cow and the head of a horse. It’s explained to us that the classification is important in a state where the cow is particularly sacred and local Hinduism can be militant and muscular and devotion is forcefully encouraged.

We see no lions, though but are more than rewarded later on our two jeep safaris.

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Just the pair of us, a driver and guide in a small vehicle, this is a far better experience than the more celebrated Ranthanbore. The country we pass through is a dry forest, the trees baked and brittle, the colours dusty brown and ochre but it’s hardly a sterile place. Troops of monkeys are as ubiquitous as the peacocks that strut around, pretty and stupid and as common here as chickens. We see herds of deer and birds of all description, including garish parrots and day-glo bee-eaters, eagles and huge motionless owls. The greens and browns of the dense woods are occasionally punctuated by trees of striking colour, standing singly in vivid contrast to their surroundings. The Flames Of The Forest; festooned with incredibly bright orange flowers whose petals stand up and are shaped like the flames for which they’re named. Ghost trees; Australian gumtrees deposited as seeds by birds who migrate from the bottom of the world to the top and back again - eerie and bone white.

As our long tour ends we’re resigned to not seeing the lions, though we’ve had a very happy morning. It’s not a zoo, after all and the park is so vast there are many square miles in which to hide unseen. Just as we are leaving, though, our driver takes a turn and we pull up by a 4x4 with government livery. Lounging around and leaning on the bonnet are three self-satisfied older men; the men from the ministry, our guide tells us. After a bit of obsequious greeting by our guide, “and how is your health, Mr. Director, sir?” the guide nods towards where the big bosses are looking and we see we are only feet away from five lions, jumping and play fighting over the carcass of an bird that they tear off each other like a rugby ball. They’re all juvenile males, between three years old and four and a half, on the verge of separating and going off to lead the solitary lives of adult males. It’s incredible. We’re close enough to hear them chewing. Nearly full grown, their strength is obvious as the pounce and wrestle, batting at each other with their big paws. It’s very rare to see so many males together- our guide declares that he’s never witnessed it before - and when we return, the other guides and naturalists disbelieve us until we share the pictures. No coincidence that the big bosses were there; I guess they got whistled down to see when the five emerged.

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We would have been more than satisfied with that but had arranged an evening safari, too so later, we head out again and are thrilled to come across two lionesses and a cub at a watering hole. Again, incredibly close. The trio pass right behind our jeep to reach the water.

If that weren’t enough, on our way out of the park, we’re flagged down by locals in dhotis and carrying long axes who calmly insist that it’s dangerous to continue. Ahead of us, partly obscured by the trees are a mating pair; a big old lion all over a submissive female. He finishes and roars before they casually pad off in separate directions.

Being so close to the big cats was unforgettable. Indeed, we’re all smiles for days afterwards.

We’re coming to the end of our time here in India and can honesty say that some of the best was left until last.


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April 03, 2018 /James Jackson
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Nashik

 

Day 94-96

12,272 miles

Day 94-96: Nashik

April 03, 2018 by James Jackson

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"My god I was happy not to be in Vapi"

It’s fair to say Nashik was a frivolous addition on our India itinerary. A confluence of right time, nice wine! I’d done a bit of research... of course I had… into India’s burgeoning wine scene and Nashik was its centre with five or six vineyards all happily nestled together in Mahatrastra – just one up from Gujurat – a dry state – hardly seems fair. 

We’d coincided our trip with Sulafest – Sula Vineyard’s, the most well-known of the wineries, - 11th annual music festival staged in their grounds complete with Amphitheater! It was quite the palaver to buy tickets and organise for us to camp there – not being residents and all – and we’d gone in deaf as it were, ahead of any of the ‘acts’ being announced. But in fairness the wine was the primary pull.

Having had our interest piqued by this festival when we booked back in November we then did some research and asked around for other festivals and gigs but it seemed Sulafest was something of a calendar highlight. The phrase slim pickings was never uttered.

The days before the festival were spent touring the other vineyards of Soma and York and whilst some  blends cater to Indians extremely sweet tooth many of the wines we tried were very palatable indeed. And helped to fill the Cava shaped hole in my life at least momentarily. 

As it turned out our 2 days of sampling prior to checking in to our campsite meant that all we really fancied was a beer but no one seemed to mind. 

So in spite of the near unknown (to us) line up the same excitement percolated in us as we trundled from our tent towards the sound of music. The fact we were in flip flops and not wellies also added a certain joyousness to the occasion.

EDM is rubbish

EDM is rubbish

It might have been because we had the EDM tent to ourselves on day one but day two brought a last minute decision which started a seat of the pants chain reaction…

The only band we really wanted to see wasn’t on until the afternoon slot … post our scheduled train departure. But seeing Jack’s deflation at the news The Beat and Ranking Roger (senior AND junior) of Mirror in the Bathroom renown were going to be missed was Ska too much to bear (geddit).  So we decided to stay and board instead in Vapi - four stops into the journey and Gujurat's most industrialised city. Easy right? 

Having arranged to leave our rucksacks at the festival gate and thanks to Mr Roger's prompt set finish we hit our marks to leave and pick up our Ola taxi as painstakingly planned - leaving 4 hours to take a, well 4 hour car trip to the station... what could possibly go wrong... Well, everything as it turned out. Firstly no Ola. Then a very apologetic Ola driver at the back of a very long queue into the festival for its finale. Then as we waited, around a dozen tuk tuk drivers all arguing amongst themselves insisting and debating that the journey could not possibly, under any circumstances, be done in that time. Policeman on the gate who gave us chairs to sit on as we waited forlornly agreed. At the point of our driver arriving we had 3 hours to do a 4 hour journey. Did we even set off in blind hope or stay and watch the rest of the festival, where there was also quite a lot of wine? Blind hope won the day and we set off on what can only be described as the taxi ride equivalent to Le Mans. A journey which took half the normal time at white knuckle, tyre screeching (and lifting slightly) speed... Needless to say our driver got a massive tip and hugs from both Jack and I with the requisite amount of gratitude at having arrived in time and also alive. He also insisted on taking selfies with us to help illustrate the tale to his friends – it being unbelievable otherwise as every tuk tuk driver and policeman in Nashik can attest to.  

There was of course the distinct prospect that if we missed the train we'd have to spend the night in Vapi, a city we'd never come across until a matter of hours previously when it won the prize as the nearest station that our train also stopped at. As we approach it from a distance, despite our physics bending forward motion, the car became engulfed in the thickest smog I have ever seen. Everywhere around us was enveloped in the grey which hung above this place. A place I later googled and discovered had the unsightly honour of being the 7th most polluted city in the world.

Of course the train was late anyway but we were nevertheless relieved when a night in one of Vapi’s guesthouses appeared to be off the cards and we boarded the train a few stops later than planned… only to arrive in our carriage to be told they’d sold our beds because we didn’t get on at our original point of departure... I see. 

My pleading eyes (helpfully also streaming from the smog) and very vocal protestations of ignorance at one stage looked like cutting no ice and a stay in Vapi with no onward train ticket e.g. no likelihood of leaving any time soon came back into abominable view. Plus we’d miss the safaris we’d advance booked – an afterthought that heightened matters further. The train was moments from pulling away without us on it when the guard had a change of heart informing us we could travel but we’d have to make do with one bunk between us until 4am – fine came our without hesitation cries. In total we occupied three bunks during the overnight trip – some wedged together, some buried under other people’s bedding (Jacko) but get to Gir we did. My god was I happy not to be in Vapi.

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"We pogo and moonstomp"

With huge distances to cover, there are consequences for missing a train so parts of the itinerary have been pretty rigid. We did build in some room for flexibility, however and so are able to take an unexpected detour.

We've developed a taste for domestic wine (again, it might actually be foul but with no access to imported reds and whites, it has substituted perfectly well.) For the sake of variety, we decide to take a trip to the Nashik valley, India’s wine country.

Much is made of a particular combination of searing heat, occasional monsoons and mineral-rich soil in this region. This, combined with improving viniculture techniques learned in Europe (Moët & Chandon have bought up a huge swathe of the valley and other established firms are following suit) means that the quality of Indian wine has much improved over the last fifteen years or so. Apparently. So, wine tasting in Nashik it is.

While planning this diversion, much to our surprise we discover that Sula, the largest domestic vineyard, whose name we have seen on almost every bottle we’ve bought, are hosting a music festival at the time we’re there; Sula Fest. This is unexpected. Bands just don’t tour in India. A first glance at the lineup reveals no one we recognise except, amazingly, The Beat (80s 2-tone band from Birmingham and a personal favourite. Check out their ska cover of Tears Of A Clown. Brilliant.) That decides it and we book tickets and camping.

All in all, our trip round the vineyards is delightful, and completely familiar. We could be in Spain or Italy. There are a few cultural differences, though. The wine is necessarily younger than we're used to and Indians have a very sweet tooth which is reflected in the blends with the sticky dessert wines disproportionately popular. Red is served with a chill on it, as in parts of Spain, which makes sense - ‘room temperature’ means something very different here. The local vintners are very passionate and seem to know their stuff (to me anyway. I can’t honestly claim much wine expertise.) They all stress, though, that a wine drinking culture is still in its infancy in India. Helen and I are the only Westerners here and when the group is divided up for the tastings, were embarrassed to discover we’re the only ones to sign up for the full flight while everyone else settles for sipping only a glass or two.

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The festival itself is a blast, though many of the acts are awful. The Beat and their near-original lineup really deliver, though, despite looking every day of their thirty five years on the road. Lead singer Rankin’ Roger is deep into his fifties but as energetic as his son, Rankin’ Junior who he shares vocals with. We pogo and moonstomp along with the band and have a great night. The crowd are in great spirits, boozing and dancing, none more so that the very drunk but happy guy we kept meeting whose only words were "Beard Bros!" 

Beard Bros, apparently

Beard Bros, apparently

We are in equally good moods. For a while... We stay late to watch the music, planning to miss our train's departure but take a car and catch up with it in Vapi, a little more than 100 miles away. It’s an important train to catch, overnight to Sasan Gir in faraway Gujarat but successfully navigating the rails these last few months has made us confident / complacent. Leaving the festival at the end of the evening is near-impossible, the badly maintained country roads snarled up with festival traffic. Time ticking away, we sit on our bags by the exit while a succession of taxi drivers and policemen tell us that making our journey to meet the train in four hours is physically impossible. We have nowhere to spend the night and no way forward. The police, condescending but friendly and amused at our idiocy bring us chairs and I make a series of frantic phone calls until I find a driver who insists it can be done. Hoots of derision and an insistent shaking of heads from the assembled experts.

We might be here a while...

We might be here a while...

With little choice, we plough on and hint at generous compensation if our driver can get us there on time. Our options are running out as the town we’re hoping to meet our train is some industrial nightmare where finding late night accommodation will be challenging. On reflection, suggesting a big tip might have been a mistake as, once were through the local gridlock, the driver floors it and starts to throw the car around the perilous bends. We drift into every corner, the back end sliding out while he smashes through the gears. I’m normally pretty sanguine in the back of cars at speed but this is genuinely scary. We barrel through villages with dogs and pedestrians scattering in the headlights. No concessions are made to speed bumps and we leave the ground every time we ramp one. Helen and I are ashen-faced in the back, scrabbling for seatbelts - there are none - and I try to keep my eyes off the speedo as the needle passes numbers we’ve never got close to before in India. After a while it becomes too much and, despite there being so much at stake, I ask him to slow down. He smiles and shrugs and eases off for a minute or two before cranking up the speed again, passing convoys of honking trucks on the inside, wheels scrabbling for purchase in the gravel, inches away from the deep ditches that line the roads. I’m not too proud to say I was petrified and ask again to ease off but to little avail.

True to his word, though after nearly four hours of white-knuckle terror, Asian Colin McRae screeches to a halt by the main entrance to the station and shaking we pile out, thrusting bundles of notes at our driver and discover that our train is an hour delayed. Because of course it is.

We loiter on the platform as so often before and look forward to bedding down for the night. On boarding, however, we find out that our bunks have been given away to others on the waiting list. We blunder around in the dark whispering amongst the snoring passengers as the train departs, exhausted and a little at a loss as to our next move. We meet the conductor who has no English but takes pity on us. In that, we’re lucky; we’ve seen people thrown off before. The night is spent shuffling around berths as they empty and then moving on again as reserved passengers board. Sometimes the pair of us share an upper bunk - no easy feat - and sometimes we get to nest in the tangled linen of a recent occupant, still warm. We’ve travelled longer journeys but none as wearying as this.

Still, it’s all worthwhile as the next morning we descend into the  right sun and broad horizons of Gir National Park, where the lions live.


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April 03, 2018 /James Jackson
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Mumbai

Day 90-93

12,165 miles

Day 90-93 Mumbai

April 03, 2018 by James Jackson

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"Back into our sightseeing groove"

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Mumbai is beautiful. It’s buildings are architecturally glorious - not just the big names like the Gateway Of India and the colonial era galleries but normal shops and offices lining its wide, grand streets. It immediately feels cosmopolitan and after 3 months we genuinely feel at home and like we know what we’re doing, strutting into the night for dinner like we’ve always lived there. 

Having relied quite heavily on India’s Uber equivalent we decide to walk Mumbai – or rather Colaba and its environs. The Court District is never ending with some of the most stunning buildings I’ve seen here and as well as stopping for a glass of something cold and carbonated in the ridiculously opulent Taj - another Mumbai landmark and the scene of the dreadful bombing over a decade ago – we also get back into our sight-seeing groove.

A boat trip to Elephanta Island to see 1600 year old rock cut temples is beyond impressive as is a visit to one of the best museums we’ve ever been to – the Mumbai City Museum packed full of over 3500 thousand maps, pottery, photographs and textiles. 

And it was also the site of my first iced coffee from Starbucks in 6 months and a 4D cinema outing – culture comes in many forms!


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"One of the world's most high-profile cities"

As one of the worlds most high-profile cities, much is written about Mumbai (or Bombay as natives still call it, stubbornly resistant to the renaming unlike in the rest of the country) so I won’t try to add too much here, save to mention a few highlights.

We spent our time, as most visitors do, in Colaba and Fort in the south of the city, the oldest part. Grand, Raj-era architecture is everywhere and a feeling of Britishness persists, at least in this part of town, The main station, still known as Victoria Terminus in defiance of its newer title, Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus, (“Bullshit name” insists an elderly store owner I share a cigarette with) is the size of St. Pancras and designed in the same style. The High Court and attendant lesser courts take up a whole city district and look like cathedrals or the older British universities and barristers in sober saris or black tailcoats with pinstripe trousers hurry between them. Knackered Routemaster buses in familiar red livery plough through the congested streets. I get a much-needed haircut and beard trim in a posh barbers transplanted from St. James’. “The oldest barbers in the world” declares the dapper 80 year old who attends to me, though I’m a little dubious of this.

For all that, it’s a thriving, modern city and we happily mooch around decent cafes, bars and restaurants as we would at home. To break up this lazy indulgence we see the sights, watch the lunchbreak cricketers playing pickup games on the maiden and visit Mumbai’s equivalent of The British Museum, poring over relics of a culture as varied as it is ancient.

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There’s much to like about Mumbai but I think I’m happiest in Cafe Military, a Parsi dive bar, unchanged in the better part of a century. The Parsi are Zoroastrian refugees from Iran (the word is a corruption of ‘Persian’) who settled in Bombay in the 11th century, bringing their wealth, habits and inoffensive religion with them, quickly becoming a welcome fixture in society as administrators, businessmen and restauranteurs. They also brought with them a love of beer and a new cuisine that swiftly became Indian staples. “We’re the reason Indians eat eggs” explains the bar’s owner. Again, I’m sceptical but not as suspicious as I am of the menu, which features rather more sheep’s brain than I’m used to. Behind wooden shutters, under rickety vintage fans we while away some time here drinking ice cold London Pilsner while crumbly old Parsis shuffle newspapers and gossip. It’s a good place to collect ourselves before what is nearly the final leg of our journey; north through Maharashtra to Gujarat.


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April 03, 2018 /James Jackson
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Bangalore

 

Day 87-90

11,415 miles

Day 87-90: Bangalore

April 03, 2018 by James Jackson

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"I was one of two women there"

Spoiler. This might be our new favourite city. I suppose you could say they had us at ‘home of micro brewing in India’ but we loved this place even more in the flesh. Sometimes the stars just align in a place and whilst our trip to Mysore suffered a little because of strikes which closed restaurants and limited some transport options, Bangalore welcomed us for Republic Day – a national holiday e.g. party time for Bangaloreans and the annual much hyped flower show … visited by what looked like the whole city.

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Bangalore or Bengaluru (its new name the locals don’t much get on with) feels different from all the cities we’ve visited so far. It feels modern and young and busy – but less in a chaotic way and more a vibrant one.

Another upside which helps in really getting a feel for a place is the abundance of Ola drivers in Indian’s big cities – which means we can easily get to the slew of yellow starred places we’d plugged into Google maps – Bangalore has no shortage of places to go. And not just bars! As it turns out we weren’t only here for the beer … but the horse races at the century old turf club (I was one of two women there); the giant Nandi statues and temples in the parks with tree branches laden with bats… and the food. We have never queued more regularly outside places – teaming with people waiting to be served Thali out of silver buckets. But yes, also the beer.

It’s Indian’s tech capital and you can feel the youthfulness, the fun. Admittedly we were there at the weekend, over a big national celebration but there was a real buzz to Bangalore – which we loved and drank up. Let’s see how Mumbai measures up.

 

 

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"A very good time had by all"

Another city, another completely new vibe. Bangalore is well known as India’s tech hub and it feels more modern – more familiar – than anywhere we’ve visited to date. The nature of the tech industry means that Bangalore is heaving with young people; smart, ambitious and with time, energy and income enough to enjoy themselves. We hit the town and drink craft ales in hipster bars. It’s a national holiday and the city’s fashionable young professionals, boys and girls, have packed out the bars in raucous groups – a very good time is being had by all.

Throwing ourselves into a weekend of entertainment, we spend a day at the races. It’s a little less familiar than the experience at home. For one, there’s no drinking. For another, there are no women. But there’s racing and betting and the mood is jovial; Helen picks some winners. I don’t. We leave a little lighter in the pocket but in good spirits.

The eating is good, too. On a recommendation, we go to a local institution, the Mavalli Tiffin Rooms, or MTR to the crowd of locals queuing outside in the scorching heat a full hour before the doors open. Once they do, it’s a mad rush to swarm inside and hand over a handful of rupees for a ticket for a set lunch. Diners are fed in shifts and swept out the back door en masse every half hour. A little unsure of what we’ve ordered, we are assaulted by squads of waiters, bare-legged and uniformed in lungees and pinstriped monogrammed shirts. Enormous salvers of breads and tureens of curry and daal are hoisted around the dining room and our metal trays are filled and refilled with food as delicious as it is unidentifiable. We don’t get close to finishing and, bellies groaning are unceremoniously herded out through the kitchens and onto the street with the rest of the satisfied crowd. Like Bangalore as a whole, it’s a boisterous whirlwind of people enjoying themselves and as elsewhere in Bangalore, we enjoy ourselves enormously. After weeks of slow moving, it’s the perfect reintroduction to city living. A good thing, too, as next up is Mumbai.

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April 03, 2018 /James Jackson
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Mysore

 

Day 86-87

11,329 miles

Day 86-87 Mysore

April 03, 2018 by James Jackson

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"Put there by the fingerprints of pilgrims"

 

As it turned out we arrived in Mysore earlier than if we’d caught the train. Nevertheless, over twenty trips in we were annoyed at ourselves for the dent in our budget and the stiffness in our joints. Mysore isn’t much visited despite its palaces and architecture and its status as the home of Yoga and meditation and as we were here now …we were doubly keen not to also overlook it.

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Despite our night spent in the back of a car hangover… a nap and a shower propelled us into Mysore town and up Chamundi Hill (in an auto … we were tired okay) to take in some temples and cloud covered views. Slightly refreshed by the air up there we decided to walk back down – 1800 steps which were all dusted with red and orange powder, put there by the fingertips of the pilgrims that walk up them – one by one – to reach the hill top temple and Nandi – one of the largest statues of him in India which surprises you enroute.

Harvest festival in Mysore and the cows are bathed in turmeric water. I bet it's a bugger to get out.

Harvest festival in Mysore and the cows are bathed in turmeric water. I bet it's a bugger to get out.

Pleased that we’d persevered and seen some of what Mysore had to offer rather than sleeping the day away in our room, we thought we’d reward ourselves with afternoon tea at the Mahal – a one time maharaja’s guesthouse turned as we discovered Faulty Towers like hotel. The two hundred rupee entry fee was the first eyebrow raising moment although we were assured we’d get it back off our tea bill. I’d read about the feted blue ballroom but instead of being ushered in there for our crustless sandwiches we were seated in the corridor outside… and told the ballroom was only for guests of the hotel. “So we’ve paid an entry fee to sit in your corridor?"                  

I expressively enquired. Twenty minutes later without tea or sandwiches I sneaked in to take photos anyway – at which point we were told we could sit on the terrace if we liked, only to be moved back because of monkey threat. We did get our 200 rupees back, discounted off our £10 bill but I didn’t exactly feel like a queen…

Still the Royal Palace, Mysore’s main draw with it’s massively over the top interiors, dripping in coloured mirror and stained glass that would make Liberace look again helped redeem things.


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April 03, 2018 /James Jackson
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Hampi

 

Day 83-86

11,036 miles

Day 83-86: Hampi

April 03, 2018 by James Jackson

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"I'd missed our previous intrepidness"

The beach weeks had been glorious but I was also beginning to feel a little bone idle and ‘touristy’ so our next destination was a wonderful injection of ‘real India’ again. We fell hard for Hampi and its treasures. Packed days of discovery covering nearly every hectare on foot and with the three wheeled assistance of Tiger, a very charming young Tuk Tuk driver who we got chatting to outside our hotel and who’s life story we knew by the end of day three.

Walking for miles around Hampi’s haunting ruins made me realise just how much I’d missed our previous intrepidness, finishing the days knackered but elated at what we’d seen, climbed, explored (I know, I know us and a million others… Stanley and Livingstone we are not but India has a way of making you feel like that).

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Monolithic statues of bug-eyed gods share the landscape with breath-taking temple after temple and giant boulders which circle you precariously. But it was within one of these underground temple complexes where our gasps were most audible – stepping as we did into a vaulted room only to glance up and see two dozen bats hanging above us. It might have taken three or four goes to muster my courage to take a close up photo but my goodness they were magnificent.

Tomb bats

Tomb bats

This general giddiness was our undoing though … a combination of late train complacency (“they never, ever make up time do they…”) and one last g&t to toast our amazing time here … resulted in us standing, stranded on platform 1 to Mysore – our train a dot in the distance and an expensive overnight taxi in our immediate future. (NB. Inbetween I may have raised my voice mildly at Jacko across the concourse for prioritising getting yet more selfies with locals as I tried unsuccessfully to find another train route with the station manager).

 

 

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"A day is hardly enough to take it in

"

 

The ancient city kingdom of Hampi is centuries dead now; it came and went in the space of only two hundred years or so, six hundred years ago but during that time was wealthy beyond imagination; merchants from Persia and further east recorded diamonds being sold by the kilo in the city bazaar and the buildings and temples dripping with opulence and luxury. In its short existence, Hampi’s rulers commissioned imposing palaces and temples, military and administrative architecture and the ruins of this long-gone civilisation are incredibly well-preserved. 

Although the land surrounding this region is green and fertile, Hampi itself lies across a valley of rock, flat sheets of granite stretching to the horizons, punctuated by colossal rock formations the size of tower blocks or cairns of boulders, each the size of houses. And actual buildings, ruined and long deserted. Hundreds and hundreds of temples, pillared colonnades, palaces, market squares, baths and living quarters. There’s no moisture here and barely any dust even.  After rumours of the city’s fabulous riches spread and the Mughal hordes descended to smash the Vijayangara dynasty into history, the city was never repopulated and was left to bake and set under the remorseless sun, which helps account for the good condition of its major buildings today.

Building a city on rock, out of rock, the Vijayangara developed a specific style of megalithic architecture; everything is made of stone, and huge individual pieces of it, carved to purpose and engraved with intricate designs. In the grounds of the royal palace stands a statue of a chariot, the stone worked in fantastic detail. It’s not a statue, though. The stone wheels rotate and the kings would be pulled around the campus by teams of elephants in a chariot as big as a roomy caravan and carved entirely from stone. We visit the stables where those elephants were kept, like a row of terraced houses, individual pens with - unsurprisingly - enormous doors. 

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It feels a little like Pompeii. The city is vast and we spend a whole day walking around what remains of it, practically alone. Even dogs and monkeys know better than to spend too long in this oven. The scale of the place is overwhelming; a day is hardly enough to take in the remains of a whole civilisation.

Amongst the abandoned ruins, one temple is still working and in it we are pleased to meet Lakshmi, the temple elephant. After our sadness when we came across Madurai's temple elephant - a sad and neglected, badly-treated animal - we had done some research. Here, we were reassured that Lakshmi is loved and honoured and spends her mornings being exercised and washed in the river; a well-attended daily event, and the rest of her time happily munching in space and comfort.

We need to talk about  the elephant in the room

We need to talk about  the elephant in the room

 

As the day cools we climb one of the natural rock formations to watch the sun go down  on the valley. Hampi is a strange, otherworldly place and a fascinating one. Definitely a highlight of our time here.

 


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April 03, 2018 /James Jackson
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Karnataka & Goa

 

The Beach Weeks

Day 63-82

10,785 miles

Day 63-82 Karnataka & Goa

April 03, 2018 by James Jackson

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"I'm not sure we even saw a policeman"

After two weeks of doing very little it’s fair to say we were mentally and physically primed to begin the beach-bum portion of our journey! Three tireless weeks wending our way up the West Coast of India with only the sea as our vista and sand underfoot (and often everywhere else as well).

First up Kannur, and a homestay on the Malabar coast. We arrived in time for a slap up lunch with the other guests who’d all been there for quite soon time in seemed – one practising yoga with an 80 year old teacher, one en route to a tattoo convention in Goa and an Italian couple in search of the perfect shot with the biggest camera lenses I have ever seen. Post lunch we were asked if we’d like to be present at a ‘ritual’ the locals were performing the next morning. Intrigued at the prospect of something Temple of Doom like we said yes of course and were told to be ready for a 3am pick-up. 3am you say…? A rude awakening by the alarm and an hour later, after travelling in very close proximity to our new friends in the back of a tuk-tuk, we arrived in the middle of a forest clearing to the most astonishing sight. All the villagers gathered around the shrine and tens of men dressed in incredible, ceremonial garb. Having read a little in advance and after witnessing the theatre of the next three hours, the performance is made up of a number of phases of dance and recitations to heavy drum music. The worship is delivered by village elders chosen to take on the form of various deities – a tradition (often described as a living cult) which goes back several thousand years. The performers of Theyyam take it extremely seriously and one of the guides told us that the honour is passed through generations and the children will learn the rituals and dances and recitations rather than go to traditional schools. And my goodness you would need to practice! The performers dance with fire and swords, spinning furiously with coconut oil constantly poured over the aflame torches attached to their grass skirts to keep the spectacle illuminated. Not for the faint hearted or fire phobic…

Words don’t really do it justice though so here are a few videos and photos:

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Next up was a beach front cottage with an entirely yellow interior and my first and as it turned out last experience of Ayurvedic – but at least I can say it was in its birthplace.

It wasn’t for me; and this from a person with a fully paid up membership to the I Like a Rub Club… It would also be unjust to assume I didn’t give it a good go, trying three different treatments (also - thank god for Google otherwise I would have been subject to the pouring of oil into places well… places.) But it just wasn’t enjoyable or indeed comfortable –prostate as I was on a teak table with grooves carved into it for your limbs. At one stage oil in a bowl was dripped onto my forehead from a height – for about twenty minutes. Is this what Chinese water torture feels like I repeatedly asked myself as I tried to imagine what good this could possibly be doing me…

So after giving it my best shot that form of medicinal relaxation was abandoned for an even more pure sort – long walks along empty beaches and a day trip to Kerala District’s wine shop capital (we honestly didn’t know this prior to setting off to Mahe); returning to our yellow hut with a cake from India’s oldest bakery and a £10 bottle of Gordon’s. Cheaper than the oil too.

Gorkana was our next stop which we’d read about as the inexplicably overlooked crown in India’s coast. What we hadn’t read about until the train ride to it was the numerous instances of police brutality and suspect ‘stop and search’ practices with foreign visitors. By the end of the three hour train ride Jacko had plugged the number of the British Consulate into my phone and we’d rehearsed various us versus the police scenarios to ensure we weren’t the latest victims of any money extraction…As it turns out the threat of roadside random stops never materialised – I’m not even sure we saw a policeman.

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Gorkana’s promise of empty, glistening beaches however was delivered on and our three days there was spent dolphin spotting over breakfast, trekking to uncover yet another beach to be crowned the most beautiful / barren of tourists and perhaps most significantly discovering the ‘Sizzler’ – a hotplate seafood serving spectacle which came to sustain us through a number of beach luncheons to come.

Tiny Cola beach followed – worth the dirt track, bump ridden journey and precarious descent down a hundred steps laden with back pack … and then back up fifty steps to our jungle hill perched hut which was circled by bats on a nightly basis.

And finally Benaulim, a recommendation from our German friend from Varanasi, Stefan and the winner of the coveted best sand prize. (It sounded like the noise fresh, deep powdery snow makes when you walk on it for the first time).

If there’s a better way to spend the start of any year I can’t think what it is.

 

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"We let our hair down in tacky bars"

Home

Home

We can cover the next fortnight pretty swiftly, although we ourselves were not moving very fast. Working our way up the coast, from Kerala, through Karnataka to Goa, we slipped into an easy rhythm of arriving early at some impossibly beautiful stretch of beach, checking into a tiny one-room hut built right onto the sand, cup of chai, do some laundry in a bucket, apply sunscreen and walk a few paces to the sea to spend the day reading, swimming, enjoying cold drinks (it’s important to keep taking on fluids in the heat) and generally loafing about. This pattern repeated itself in half a dozen villages and small towns, our resting places becoming busier, noisier and increasingly lairy as we move north. 

In Gorkana, we hike for hours through jungle and over rocky escarpments, discovering beaches empty even of footprints. White sand, golden sand, black sand. Sand that crunches underfoot like snow or is so fine you wade through, sunk to the shins. We prevail on a passing boatman to  take us back at the end of the day. He’s paid in an assortment of pound coins, euros and rupees scavenged from pockets and the bottom of bags. 

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It’s a far cry from Goa’s Panjim, where we finish our tour. Where premiership football plays on every tv and chips come with everything. It’s fun to be somewhere lively after a couple of weeks of solitude and we let our hair down in tacky bars blasting hit parade reggaeton, drinking happy hour cocktails and watching the fire breathers on the beach. 

It hasn’t all been sunburn and long drinks, though. We do take a little time to explore. In Karnataka, we head deep into the jungle at 3.00am to witness a local harvest ceremony; villagers in intricate dress dancing and telling ancient stories of gods and men, their huge costumes set aflame and burning as they whirl to the beat of drums in front of the temple. It’s extraordinary and quite private - there are few tourists here - and they’ve been at it for two days. It’s explained to me that this is a well-loved ritual because all the castes are represented in the storytelling and play a part on an equal footing, the actors playing the same roles as their fathers, grandfathers and ancestors.

And, because Karnataka is a pretty conservative state with alcohol quite restricted, we take some locals’ advice and travel over the state border back into Tamil Nadu to Mahe, part of Pondicherry’s jurisdiction. It’s where Karnataka goes to have a good time we’re told. That’s as may be but none of Pondy’s charm has reached here. The streets are lined with off licences and we weave around drunk men on the shabby pavements. Signs and notices from the superintendent of police indicate they have an alcohol problem here. People leave their families to drink cheap whisky and never return, as illustrated by the grisly photos of the last year’s alcohol fatalities. It’s grim and we don’t hang around.

We travel no further north than Panjim, avoiding the party beaches of Calangute and Baga and talking to fellow travellers confirms the suspicion that we’re too old for that flavour of holiday so we wrap up here and head inland for the next phase of our journey.


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April 03, 2018 /James Jackson
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Interlude:

Trains

Interlude: Trains

April 01, 2018 by James Jackson

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"No better way to travel"

 

As much as we have loved all the places we’ve visited, as memorable as our destinations has been the getting there. From the start, we’ve avoided internal flights, despite their convenience, time-saving and affordability. Travelling on the Indian Railways, although arduous at times, has afforded us a view of the country we wouldn’t have otherwise seen and given us the opportunity to meet and talk to so many different people that our train journeys are worth a small mention in their own right.

By the time we are done, we will have taken around thirty-five individual journeys of any length and covered something like six thousand miles, our longest journeys being as much as thirty hours, our most delayed train late by a day.

A few notes on the experience.

Class:

View from the top bunk

View from the top bunk

Most of our journeys were taken in 2AC. Second class, Air Conditioned. Hardly the Orient Express but a perfectly fine way to travel. Small bulkheads divide the carriages into open compartments, screened by a ratty curtain with four bunks bolted to each side and another two, transverse in the corridor. Occasionally we went 3AC, the same set up but with three tiers of bunks rather than two, so eight per compartment. Roomy it is not. During the day all passengers share the lower bunks until evening when a general consensus is reached and the top bunks are pulled down and upstairs residents scramble up using bunk fixtures and sometimes my head as a ladder.

Bedsheets are usually provided, well worn and threadbare but typically clean enough. Also provided are a flannel, a thin pillow and a hairy blanket; decidedly less clean.

The train itself is noisy and passengers are united in an etiquette that would drive your typical English commuter insane. Phones are answered on speaker, people watch movies and play video games and wallahs move up and down the corridors singing their wares; chai, fried food, omlette sandwiches and more. I will miss the train chai which is sweet, spiced and delicious and a necessary accompaniment to the omelette sandwich, which, while tasty enough, is the driest thing you’ll ever eat.

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It’s barely quieter at night. Every station brings an influx of new passengers wrestling with their luggage and loudly looking for their berths or turfing squatters out. We’ve been guilty of this ourselves. What’s remarkable is how easy-going everyone is. Someone’s woken by the noise, they fall asleep again without an angry word said. I woke a man at 3.00 in the morning, firmly insisting that he was in my bunk. He patiently reviewed my ticket and lead me into the next carriage where my actual bunk lay empty before returning without a hint of animosity. Try that on the London to Glasgow sleeper, I dare you.

Snoring and farting is the music of the night train. And what snoring! Enthusiastic bass rumbles rock the carriage and rattle the windows. I could fall asleep on a washing line but Helen’s a light sleeper. On one of our first overnights I’m woken, not by the high-decibel nose symphony but by Helen’s plaintive voice, pleading with a virtuoso snorer in the next compartment to pack it in. His snoring continues uninterrupted.

For last minute journeys we’re sometimes in General Class or Second Seating, the cheapest and most rudimentary seats. These are the carriages you’ll have seen with the unglazed barred windows and mobs of people hanging out of the doors. Although a little uncomfortable for long journeys it’s boisterous, lively and entertaining. Conversations are held across the carriage at full volume, ten guys read the same paper over each other’s shoulders and the kids shriek in unison in every tunnel.

Conductors:

Occasionally surly guys with big metal badges of office weighing down their jackets, most train conductors we meet are lovely. Misinformed in Punjab, we board the wrong train but a sympathetic conductor sets us straight and advises us that by getting out further down the line, we can meet our actual train, something not clear from the timetables. As the right train pulls in, we’re met by an identical-looking conductor who comes looking for us as his friend on the first train had phoned ahead to let him know our error.

Food:

On the longer journeys you can order a simple meal of curry, rice, daal and chapattis. It’s pretty good but can be a struggle to eat in a vibrating upper bunk, as evidenced by the wreckage of long-forgotten meals in the bedding. We travel armed with biscuits and cake but often have little need as our fellow passangers will typically insist on sharing their own meals; this generosity to complete strangers is something we see again and again and we are touched by peoples' kindness on every journey.

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Toilets:

Just a catalogue of horrors. They’re not great at time of departure and don’t improve much over the three days a train can be moving.

Feet:

Everyone’s got a pair and they’re not afraid to share. You get pretty intimate with other people’s feet pretty quickly. Typical encounter: I’m sat in my berth when four old boys take up position on the facing bunk. Sit down, sandals off and stretch their legs. Eight cracked and gnarly feet make themselves comfortable in my bedding. The owners natter away, oblivious to me recoiling back into the corner and I’m left to watch the Toenail Preservation Committee hold a meeting over a picket fence of yellowing talons. 

It might be a thing personal to me but wow, I do hate feet.

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Travelling companions:

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It may come across as if we didn’t enjoy our many train journeys but honestly, there’s no better way to travel. That’s largely down the people we share the journeys with. Because journeys are long, conversation is a necessary travel aid and because every journey has a destination, everybody has something to talk about. Encounters that stick in the mind include the family on their way to a wedding; an inter-caste love match rather than an arranged marriage, they declare excitedly. The nervous young man on his way to join the Merchant Navy who was shy and anxious but keen to practice his English and whose hands trembled as he shook ours. The two obviously gay best friends on their way to the Goa Carnival who recommend the best clubs for dancing. A older woman who admitted she’d been scared to travel alone but was pleased to be able to tell her husband that you meet nice people on the trains. An elderly gentleman who spoke no English but bought us tea and kept up a running commentary on the landmarks we were passing, invisible to us through the window. Once, without seats we were packed standing in a corridor in overcrowded third class when a young woman called down from near the ceiling, “why are you standing?” We replied that we had no seats. Laughing she says, “just tell people to move” as if it was the simplest thing in the world. Duly we do so and squeeze ourselves into the top tier and spend the next few hours chatting. She’s now an active Facebook friend, as are her family and almost everyone we came into contact with on the trains. the hundred or so schoolgirls, academic competition winners, waiting on the platform for their trophy to arrive by train. And on our last long trip, a happy, extended family of Jains - forty of them, from infant to ancient - who took over the neighbouring carriage, invited us to join them and wouldn’t take no for an answer. They’re on a pilgrimage to a temple dedication. The young women are giggly and excited by their road trip, the men are cheerful and fuss around uselessly under the direction of the family matriarchs who insist that space is found for us before breaking out huge Tupperware drums of food for sharing. Jains are strict vegans and even include onions and garlic in the list of food they can’t eat and while on pilgrimage they’re further restricted to only grain-based food. But the feast is delicious; everyone has contributed breads and daal, flavoured rice and dishes of lentils and pulses and they take pleasure in telling us who made what. There are endless cups of chai and we eat hugely, our protestations that we’re full ignored with a smile. They’re good people. We’re pleased to spend time with them and sorry to say our goodbyes.

Without getting too metaphorical, India is well represented by the trains. Impossible numbers of people in too small a space, making the best of it and rubbing along good-naturedly for the most part. Tolerance is the order of the day, as it has to be when you’re arsehole to elbow with the people you share the space with. It’s far from perfect and not always easy - there are a handful of stinking midnight station platforms I’m happy to never visit again - but I can’t imagine completing our journey any other way.


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April 01, 2018 /James Jackson
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                                                                                                Fort Cochin

Day 60-63

10,129 miles

Day 60-63: Fort Cochin

February 27, 2018 by James Jackson

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"A degree of financial frovolity"

Its fair to say then that we had a very peaceful pre-cursor to New Year. Handy as next up was Fort Cochin – Kerala’s capital and King and Queen of the state’s NY celebrations.

Where exactly to spend it was the pressing question upon arrival so our first afternoon and evening was diligently spent touring the short list of places I had investigated in advance – we are nothing if not thorough. A few happy hours later we were booked in to a charming place with a courtyard and the promise of a seven course meal, an actual wine list and importantly approximately 10 metres from the much talked about pyre of Big Papa… the effigy which is burned to see in the new year, curiously reminiscent of Santa Claus.

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We’d previously decided to give ourselves over to a certain degree of financial frivolity during the festivities – although still steering clear of Kerala’s eye watering 138.5% tax on imported spirits; thankfully India’s one gin brand Blue Riband is more than passable (Jacko thinks it’s a bit fumey). And that’s really what Cochin wrote – restaurants over sight-seeing, sunning ourselves with beer in hand over solvency and celebrations aplenty.

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"An investment in idleness"

 

Cochin - or Kochi, it goes by both - is a busy, boisterous small town and, while pleasant enough, we probably would have passed it by but for the fact that they take New Year seriously here. We’re in the mood for a party and perhaps a little luxury. We book ourselves into a chain hotel, pay for laundry service and enjoy hot showers, both a rarity on our travels so far and eat out, developing a taste for Indian wine from the Nashik Valley along the way. Sula Vineyards, we note for later consideration.

After checking out the local bars and restaurants we pick our favourite and make reservations for their gala New Years dinner. A swanky affair, we dress as well as we can, my honking walking boots stashed away for a night and get happily tipsy across a sultry, muggy evening of European food and local music and dance. At midnight, there’s a good natured jostling of thousands towards the Parade Ground where a towering effigy of Santa Claus is spectacularly set alight for reasons no one can adequately explain. We see the new year in in some style and the next day, dehydrated but happy, prepare for the next stage of our journey up the West coast; Karnataka and Goa, living in shacks on the beach, enjoying the sun and sea and generally bumming around. Doesn’t sound terrible. There’s more intrepid travelling to be done later, new cultures to experience and huge swathes of India still to explore but that can wait a week or two. For now, we plan to open our 2018 account by investing in idleness. Can’t wait.

In recovery. Do not disturb.

In recovery. Do not disturb.

 

 

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February 27, 2018 /James Jackson
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Alleppey

 

 

 

Day 58-60

10,151 miles

Day 58-60: Alleppey

February 27, 2018 by James Jackson

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"The odd basking water buffalo"

Kerala’s backwaters are much admired and almost mythologised. A rite of passage that is a solid MUST in everyone’s book – which is probably why two days on a houseboat costs the same as, well, I would have said a small boat before I found out how much this cost… But it was also one of the things we’d been most looking forward to – living on a boat for days on end with only our crew for company (and as it turned out to also serve us food, near constantly).

Having ‘lived’ in Varkala for a full week it did take an extra effort to hoist the backpack onto my shoulders again but the excitement of the backwaters miraculously lightened the load.

Quite a few emails back and forth in the preceding days had flagged the fact that our original boat was in dock for some undisclosed and therefore sinking feeling reason… We were however getting a replacement boat and one which turned out to be twice as big, meaning that if we wanted we could sleep in a different room every night of our fantastic voyage. NB. The cook on board also approached every mealtime as if there were twice as many passengers if our waistlines wobbling off the boat come docking time were anything to go by.

As I may have slightly alluded to already our trip through some of southern India’s most peaceful and memory making land and water-scapes was essentially made up of two things: eating and looking. Hours on end of gazing into the greenest paddy fields you can imagine and only moving for the occasional wave to passing traffic, traffic which was a little heavier than normal due to a recent, unexpected monsoon which had left some routes unpassable.

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We also docked every now and then for photo opps next to river side churches and the odd basking water buffalo… but really it was eating and looking and the odd sneaked sunset G&T from our newly christened (from Christmas) hip flasks. Not a bad way to spend the Crimbo Limbo period I was reading so much about in the UK papers ; -)

But not totally good though. Here more than anywhere else… and my goodness litter in India is not an issue you can figuratively or literally side step… here it made me feel genuinely sad and angry and ashamed I suppose at just how much damage we’re doing. Plastic bottles bobbed along beside us. Birds rested on banks along with crisp packets. It is a blight that is hard to ignore (although many do with a seeming ‘what difference will it make’ mindset). Jack and I spoke about it in ‘broken window theory’ terms when we were in Kolkata walking through playing fields that could easily have been mistaken for a rubbish dump. When things are this bad already and in areas where let’s be honest people have uncontestably more things to worry about, is where they leave their litter that far up the list? I didn’t think the two couldn’t go hand in hand and a matter of days latter a new TED talk podcast alert popped up on my phone orated by a man who has indeed combined the two issues with his charity Plastic Bank. It’s a simple enough idea of course – income for plastic - but crucially with the added assistance of helping to give people more security with bank accounts where they turn waste into currency. A nascent thing yet in India but something which has seen real results in places such as Haiti and the Philippines which also have what could be considered ‘bigger problems’.

 

 

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"An outstanding highlight of our trip"

 

Our brief stop in the mangroves of Poovar Island had whetted the appetite for Kerala’s incredible beauty and it was real excitement that we boarded a houseboat for a few days of sedately exploring the region’s famed backwaters. We were not disappointed. Wide-hulled and bamboo-roofed, we were the only guests on the large boat we shared with three crew; a silent and ancient skipper, stick-thin and seemingly made of teak, his cheerful first mate and the irrepressible cook, out of whose galley came course after course of fresh food, more than we could possibly eat, though we made our best effort.

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The boat chugs through the waterways at little more than walking pace, the surface of the wide river seemingly untroubled by much more than the other occasional houseboat (its a rightly popular attraction) and locals in paddle canoes. The water reflects the blue of a cloudless sky and the striking green of the plantlife on the banks, dense jungly swamps making way for lines of palms and endless paddy fields. As everywhere in Kerala, it is bursting with life; kingfishers catch the eye in brilliant blue and orange, standing out against the million shades of green. We see snakes in the water and frogs, burping non-stop near the banks. Slow, chunky water buffalo submerge to stay cool, just their ears and snouts protruding. Like the water, the air teems with life and in the evenings we’re savaged by insects. The mosquitoes round here carry knives.

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We spend hours on the observation platform watching the mangroves crawl by and local life with it. Two older ladies steering their canoe to the chemists, which has a convenient riverside counter to service the water-bourne. A mid-stream economy of fishermen and flower-sellers haggling from the tiller. Huge tractors and earthmovers being transported on lashed-together barges lying perilously low in the water. There’s plenty to occupy the eye and the bright light dazzles and shines off the water, highlighting the extraordinary Technicolor view.

We only take one brief excursion off the boat. The dense foliage on either bank is broken every mile or so by fine Catholic churches and convents incongruously styled in Mediterranean or Latin American architecture, the pristine white plaster accented in bright blues, pinks and yellows. We stop to tour St. Mary’s Basilica, which dates from the 6th century. One of the 12 Apostles, Thomas, brought Christianity to India - he’s buried in Chennai - and it remains the majority religion in large parts of the coastal south. Then we carefully board a canoe to take us through the smaller waterways, so choked with water plants and flowers (and yes, plastic waste) that jokes about getting out and pushing quickly turn into Helen and I both grabbing oars and poles to try to drive a path through the soupy water. It’s sweaty and tiring but ridiculous and good fun.

During our time on the boat, we don’t really do anything but feel like we have experienced a lot. An outstanding highlight of our trip so far - Kerala is an incredible place.

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February 27, 2018 /James Jackson
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Varkala

 

Day 51-58

10,091 miles

Day 51-58:Varkala

February 27, 2018 by James Jackson

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"Perched on a cliff-top"

The Sea Shore in Varkala was the first place I booked when we started planning the trip – a full six month before arrival and they only had one cottage left then – so I hoped it was so popular for a reason. But it more than lived up to our half a year of expectations. Perched on a cliff top and host to more hammocks than you can swing (in) a … hammock, our home for the week of Christmas (and our home for the longest period since we’ve been in India) was genuinely a little paradise. Not least because of the wonderful, peaceful routine we immediately adopted after so many weeks of getting up and going (happily but going all the same) somewhere else, somewhere new, somewhere that required us to rise early and do stuff basically. But not so here at the Sea Shore. We do get up of course – for pineapple smoothies and my now daily masala omelette, but then we just sit or swing for hours on end. And read and listen to the first music I’d actively sought out since we’d started travelling. And then, every now and then – when the mood took – I’d look up from my book and see the waves crashing and the dozens of eagles dancing over head. And for some utterly inexplicable reason, without even the prompting of iTunes, I found myself with The Kinks ‘If Paradise was Half as Nice’ drifting in and out my head. Funny that.

It was also in this routine that we decided on our nightly countdown to Christmas film – and because there was nothing really to see (the sea to one side) it was fine to turn in at 9pm with Bill Murray and a gin and Mirinda (set your teeth on edge fizzy orange) . And no Christmas or travellers guilt that I might be missing something!

We did however stroll onto Varkala beachfront on Christmas Eve to investigate the festivities which took the fitting form of Panto. Not quite as we know it of course. There was a bit more death and intrigue in this traditional Kathakali version – a few more limbs lost but the costumes would give any widow twankie a good run for their money.

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Christmas day itself saw us hijack a slightly higher end hotel of the Taj resort variety for a sunken pool bar and a lunch of shrimp macaroni cheese and a club sandwich. Their wi-fi also came in handy to Facetime with family and try not to mention the 30 degree temperature.

Varkala for me was the start of the next India chapter, a mid point to stop and really breathe in just how much we’ve experienced and of course set our sights on the South and yet more glorious coastline. But not before the backwaters…

 

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"The joys of hammock living"

 

And so to Varkala where we aim to spend Christmas. Seizing our first opportunity to spend more than a few days in one place, we quickly make ourselves comfortable in a simple but comfortable clifftop bungalow and I start to become properly acquainted with the joys of hammock living. In our week here, we do nothing more strenuous than a daily totter down the steep path to an tiny and nearly deserted beach, returning to the top when we start to sizzle. There, we’re grateful for a breeze that rustles the palm fronds and lifts eagles up the cliff to burst over the top where we lie lazily, taking our cue from the four foot long monitor lizard that waddles around at its own pace.

View of our guesthouse from the beach, perched on the clifftop.

View of our guesthouse from the beach, perched on the clifftop.

Only ten minutes away, Varkala beach proper is more lively and each evening we pick a different place to eat variants of the same meals; prawns or calamari, fried, grilled or battered, chilli, garlic, sometimes in dumplings or filo pastry, sometimes in pasta or as they come, fresh from the sea. 

We had heard that we could struggle to drink in Kerala and, wanting to raise a glass of something at Christmas, since Chennai, I’ve been lugging around a hefty bottle of gin and a bottle of Indian sparkling wine that I have my doubts over. Whatever is was like when it went into the bottle, I suspect it hasn’t improved for travelling 1,000 miles at high temperatures in the bottom of my rucksack.

Our fears are unfounded though, and we enjoy slightly clandestine beers everywhere we go, none too subtly served in big coffee mugs, the bottles hidden out of sight under the tables.

We open the ‘sham’pagne on Christmas Day and, maybe absence is playing tricks on the tastebuds but it’s not too terrible. The gin finds a home, too. There’s no tonic so we experiment with luminous and over-sweet Indian fizzy pop until we find a winner.

We’re now into the section of our travels that better qualifies as ‘holiday’ as we meander up and down the West coast. We will get back to more adventurous ways before long but for now, we’re relaxing hard.


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February 27, 2018 /James Jackson
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                                                                                                                                                                                                Poovar Island

 

Day 50-51

10,043 miles

Day 50-51: Poovar Island

February 27, 2018 by James Jackson

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"We arrived in the dark"

The mediocrity of Madurai made us throw a sense of financial caution to the wind as we exited Trivandrum station and our gateway to Kerala. That’s my story anyway and I’m sticking to it.

I’d read about Villa Maya in a few places – unsurprisingly as it’s ranked as perhaps the best restaurant in India and features highly in the world rankings… Should we just check if they have a table at 3.30 on a Tuesday…? Might as well as we’re here…? It’ll probably be too late to eat at our place on Poovar Island in any case… by the time we get there…? And with those words the die was cast and half an hour later I was wrestling with a crab cracker and Jacko was eating curry out of a coconut.

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We’d realised, handily, ahead of our final approach to Varkala that there was a night’s stay somewhere unaccounted for – cue last minute booking in Poovar Island (based on my vague memories of an article I’d read in the last year). We arrived in the dark after our unplanned detour for an early dinner and unable to really get our bearings enquired about anywhere nearby for well, a drink? That would be a no came the reply. No boats to the resorts? Laughter by return. At which we retired to our room to wrestle unsuccessfully with the wi-fi and then finally opt for an early night .. at 9.30pm thinking as we dozed off that maybe Poovar was a bit of a bust.

It turns out that if you go to sleep at 9.30pm you wake up at 6.30am… Having arrived in the pitch black dark it occurred that I didn’t really have any sense of where the hell we were. Aside from somewhere remote. What greeted me as I ventured onto the balcony was therefore nothing short of a wonderful surprise. We were near surrounded by water, with mangroves as far as the eye could see and that we got a closer look at after breakfast when our host unmoored his boat and took us for a tour around the utterly unspoilt surroundings.

I couldn’t think of a better pit stop ahead of our Keralan Christmas.

 

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"Greeted by a racket of bird calls"

 

“Kerala is a paradise.” We’d heard those words again and again when planning this trip and so have been looking forward to getting to this lush, green coastal state. The complexities of day-and-night rail travel and a packed itinerary mean that we’ve somehow failed to account for a day somewhere and have no accommodation for one night. Gifted an extra 24 hours we do a little research and divert to Poovar Island, arriving at a remote guesthouse in the pitch black evening. Our friendly hosts smile and shake their heads at our questions about WiFi and beer; the local amenities are a boat ride away and it’s far too late for that. We take a very early night instead.

Waking at dawn we're greeted by a racket of bird calls and step out to find ourselves in the middle of the mangrove swamps. A mass of striking green vegetation crowds the view, creepers and trees, flowers and fruits. Birds of all sorts swoop and shriek or preen and dry their wings on stumps. Insects swarm in clouds while locals putter up and down the narrow waterways in canoes. Living things and growing things abound; quite a contrast from the dusty scrubland and grubby cityscapes that marked the first weeks of our adventure.

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With nothing much to do but take a boat to a floating restaurant and eat fried river prawns, it’s a lovely introduction to the state Indians call Gods Own Country.

 

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February 27, 2018 /James Jackson
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Madurai

Day 48-50

9,824 miles

Day 48-50: Madurai

February 27, 2018 by James Jackson

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"Fish-eyed and triple breasted"

We might have been a little sad to say au revoir to Pondy and its breath-taking breakfasts, lunches and dinners. We were sadder still when our 10pm Uber texted to cancel our journey 20 minutes before we were due to leave and we were staring down the barrel of a missed train and a hefty car hire bill to Madurai – and the temple to end all temples – the six hectare Meenakshi Amman temple complex. A few frantic digital pleas to other hopefully nearby Ubers got us to the station with moments to spare only for the train to roll in an hour later. Of course. Still, we were thankful for our bunks for the overnight journey and the absence of an unexpected hotel bill and a 10,000 rupee taxi fare.

Arriving anywhere at 6am doesn’t tend to present a place’s ‘best side’ and the area around a town’s train station only serves to amplify the ugly in many cases. In Madurai’s case certainly. It felt like we were back to India’s everyday reality with a bang as we stumbled through the dawn light to our very average guesthouse. Dust, horns, dirt – all the hallmarks of a working city and the India we knew well by now (and for better or worse loved) but it did feel hard to acclimatise being, as we were, fresh and clean from our week at the seaside.

One of twelve gate towers that ring the Meenakshi temple

One of twelve gate towers that ring the Meenakshi temple

There was of course only one thing for it. Embrace the early hour and make like a pilgrim to the dozens of temples which were a twenty minute walk away.

Meenakshi – the fish eyed and triple breasted warrior goddess – has quite the abode. The complex has four entrances, each with something to recommend it – ours had a blue bull (Shiva’s choice of vehicle) which Indian visitors all touched on the head as they passed. The colourfulness of everything is what’s most striking – not least because so many of the structures date from the 1500s. That and the sheer intricacy. Hundreds of faces and scenes stretch over each of the temple facades, multi coloured and mesmeric if the agog gazes are anything to go by.

Just a we were leaving (we’d been there 3 hours and it was still only 10.30) we were casually passed by the temple elephant. It was magnificent at first sight. Draped in temple finery and gold jewelry. People rushed impatiently to feed it money and have its trunk touch their heads by way of blessing. But on second sight its haunches looked red raw and chains dragged on its hind legs. On our way home we googled to find out more about the conditions for temple elephants – surely that meant they would be more prized and well cared for…? It seems not and whilst there were moves by the local government a few years ago to ensure better standards and even an elephant retreat for them to ensure they had the space they needed to wander outside of the temple confines, this has never come to fruition shamefully.

We had in truth only come for the temples and whilst I worry in hindsight that our opinion of Madurai might have suffered because of glimpse of coast and slower pace of life we'd just experienced I'd be fibbing if I said we weren’t ready for Christmas a deux in Varkala and our first taste of Kerala.

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"Happy to be moving on"

First impressions of Madurai are not good. Overnight trains hold no fears for us at this stage but usually because of the anticipation of new thrills and adventures on arrival. Likewise we’re well used to dust, dirt, seething humanity and municipal ugliness but Madurai is dismal even by these standards.

There’s only one thing of note here (with apologies to anyone who knows better, I accept we might not be giving the place its due) and that’s the huge 14th century Meenakshi temple complex, dedicated to Parvati, wife of Lord Shiva. The temple buildings cover an area the size of fifteen football fields, and the imposing perimeter walls are punctuated by twelve gate towers that reach 50 metres into the sky, each one covered in thousands of carved and gaudily painted idols. It’s a riot of colour and intricate detail, starkly at odds with the grubby hues of the town that butts up against the walls.

The place is packed with pilgrims and as we follow them in, it’s clear this is a working temple, not just a historical monument. The Hall Of A Thousand Pillars throngs with people, queuing for blessings and vendors sell trinkets and bric a brac from the bazaar stalls within the temple itself as they have for centuries. It’s noisy and lively and worship is upbeat and enthusiastic. We meet a temple elephant inside, though, miserable and abused and this badly upsets us both. Furiously reading up on the subject, it’s clear that this is all too common although it should be pointed out, not universal. Many temple elephants are revered and live fine and happy lives of leisure. Still, the encounter does nothing to warm us to Madurai. It was definitely an interesting experience and the scale of the temple is impressive but on balance, we’re very happy to be moving on, putting Madurai behind us and looking forward to finishing this coast-to-coast stretch of our journey and reaching Kerala in time for Christmas.

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February 27, 2018 /James Jackson
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Pondicherry

Day 45-47

9,576 miles

Day 45-47: Pondicherry

February 27, 2018 by James Jackson

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"Mon dieu - whole lists of wine"

We’d heard good things about Pondy (how its affectionately known) and my goodness it didn’t disappoint. Being fully paid up Francophiles, to say there was a frisson of excitement as our hire car pulled up outside our hotel in the French Quarter of town would be an understatement (euphemisme then). But it also took a brief changing of gears. The kids leaving the nearby school were speaking French! Pastel painted buildings lined the street where we were to live for the next 4 days and … wait for it (god knows I had) the restaurants menus had whole pages dedicated to wine. They had wine lists. Mon dieu – whole lists of wine.

And that was the story of Pondicherry – a town not of religious temples but of culinary places of worship. I know Jacko will reminisce longingly and with genuine love of the eggs benedict with La Maison Roses’ signature pink Hollandaise he had on our first morning in Pondicherry… I will dream similarly of the rose wine. I hope it doesn’t sound superficial but sometimes, just sometimes wine wins out over thousand year old temples and salty buttered baguettes beat a path, via the stomach, to a woman’s heart.

Side bar: on our way to every new place I recap my research – best bars, do not miss places, restaurants of note to Jacko and he as the keeper of the Google map pins and stars them all ready to navigate our days and nights. In Pondicherry we are proud to say we pretty much made our way through the entire list – quenching my wine thirst and bringing Jack back to his pre Kolkata fighting weight.

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"Bacon!"

Pudicherry. Or Pondicherry. Or just 'Pondy.'

Specifically, French Pondicherry. And oh, it is French. It’s spoken as a first language (along with Tamil), the leafy boulevards are lined with wrought iron railings and lampposts in the European style and the traffic cops are dapper in white uniforms and red kepis. We’re thrilled to find that the cuisine is familiarly French, too. We’ve thoroughly enjoyed the varied Indian diet so far but can’t conceal our delight in discovering freely available wine and ham on the menu. Bacon, even! 

It’s comfortably warm in this attractive seaside town and we take things pretty easy here, joining locals strolling slowly on the promenade past the Foreign Legion memorials and pavement cafes. Lunches are long and lazy. Despite the tropical temperature and the palm trees, familiar lights and  decorations remind us that Christmas is just around the corner. Pondy is a place it’s very easy to become very fond of very quickly and it's fair to say we enjoyed every minute of our time here.


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February 27, 2018 /James Jackson
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                              Mahabalipuram

 

 

Day 42-45

9,514 miles

Day 42-45: Mahabalipuram

February 27, 2018 by James Jackson

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"Must see lists had got longer"

Whilst Chennai’s Marina beach was technically the first glimpse of East India’s seaside our arrival in Mahabalipuram, which also quietly boasts a world heritage site, was really the start of near month long, sand in the toes sojourn through several of the coasts most beautiful beaches.

The town is best known for its temples and rock carvings (sounds a bit pedestrian but really they’re something to behold); stone structures which look like they’ve been built but have in fact been carved from single enormous rocks. And the Giant Butter Ball of course… Krishna’s butter ball to be precise – a huge yellow boulder which seems to balance precariously on the side of a hill. The british apparently tried to move it but several attempts and a herd of very tired elephants later they decided just to leave well alone…

Butterball. Pictured here with a big rock.

Butterball. Pictured here with a big rock.

Mahabs (easier for us to say and indeed write here) got its name from the 7th century king’s nickname Mamalla which means Great Wrestler and was once a major seaport of the ancient Pallava kingdom – a cause of amusement for me during our time there (just me then). Now it thrives around the daily tourist influx to its sights and was the place where we happily pressed pause and listened to the waves for a while.

Perhaps we hadn’t quite admitted it to ourselves but there was a fair chance we’d been ‘suffering’ a little with big city burnout. Must see lists had got longer and whilst there hadn’t been a moment of regret at any of the 4am starts to get the best view or longer than we’d like queues arriving in a place we could happily circumnavigate in less than an hour was a small joy. And that was really the story of Mahabs – one small joy after another. Grilled prawns the size of my hand and ice cold beer in toby jugs (a trend we encountered in many establishments without liquer licenses); cows sunbathing on beaches alongside sun seekers of the human kind); Jacko seemingly back to full strength but still requiring regular pitstops to bars also showing the cricket...

It was as it turned out the perfect warm-up act for what came next – practically perfect Pondicherry.

 

 

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"Long lost to the sea"

 

With the famed beaches and party towns of the west coast still thousands of miles away, we’re pleased to ease ourselves into some coastal relaxation here in Mahabilapurum, a mysterious and ancient town, baking under a brutal sun. At first glance, there’s little to the place; a few dusty streets lined with cheap guesthouses and restaurants; seafood a speciality, big fresh crustaceans sold for pennies. It’s very quiet in town. Locals and a handful of dissolute hippies, eschewing commercialised Rishikesh in the north or overrun Goa in the West. Mahabilapurum has suffered calamitous and extreme weather in recent times, which goes some way to explaining why it’s so empty even now, in season. Just months ago the Tamil Nadu coastline was assaulted by a cyclone rising out of the Bay of Bengal, destroying housing and leaving dozens dead on land and over 200 fishermen lost at sea. The fishermen here never learn to swim, a local resident tells me, solemnly. 

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Mahabilapurum is famed for its Shore Temples, intricate pagodas dedicated to Shiva, over 1,000 years old and carved into  rather than built out of coastal rock, products of the Palava dynasty of whom almost nothing is known. Most have been long lost to the sea but those that remain jut up out of the beach and the shallows, impressive and very ancient. The area was hurt badly by the tail end of the Boxing Day tsunami that ravaged Indonesia and Sri Lanka in 2004 and many of the established fishing communities are resettled in modern but charmless government housing designed to better withstand the elements.

Inevitably this has impacted the character of the place as the weather had impacted both the tourist and fishing economies. An unexpected consequence of the tsunami was the reshaping of the coastline; the sea withdrew and revealed an undiscovered complex of Shiva-dedicated temples, preserved underwater since the fifth century. This has helped boost the region’s main draw - additionally, domestic tourism is a growing business and national and state governments have poured investment into archaeology and monument preservation in a bid to capitalise on a resurgence of patriotic interest in Indian history; it’s something we’ve seen again and again. As we walk a little further afield, we come across coachloads of indian tourists, matched in number by large groups of devoted pilgrims come to worship in the sacred places. With them comes bustle and business and while Mahabilapurum has taken its knocks in recent years there’s a cheerful energy around the remarkable archaeological artefacts that makes our stay here a memorable one.

 

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February 27, 2018 /James Jackson
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                                                      Chennai

Day 41-42

9,476 miles

Day 41-42: Chennai

February 27, 2018 by James Jackson

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"More marble than many monuments we've visited"

We arrive in Chennai freshish after our most epic train journey yet – 30 hours and over a thousand miles down the Coromandel Coast. The eponymous express which took us is renowned – a flagship carrier of Indian Railways – and it traverses the entire length of the coast along the Bay of Bengal, jam packed with passengers.

Luckily for us (well, me. Jacko was still in a post poisoning stupor at this point) the views out of the window were a near constant visual carousel – all postcard worthy and more than enough of a distraction as the hours ticked by. Lush green fields, acres of palm trees that looked more like the pages of a Vietnam guide book, huge gaping rivers including the Krishna and our first sight of the waters of the Bay of Bengal itself.

The trip was also punctuated by some wonderful carriage compartment companions. An older woman travelling on her own, without her husband for the first time, and a brother and sister fresh from the wedding of their eldest sibling. Much chat ensued with topics ranging from taxes, India’s ‘new’ bank notes (hated and like ‘monopoly’), love marriages (the opposite term to arranged marriages I learned) and train food… I may have been a little overtired but I almost cried when the older woman got up to leave saying how worried her husband had been about her travelling alone but that she’d be able to tell him instead what a wonderful time she’d had.

As Jacko had spent almost the entire journey sweating and hallucinating off his maladie so it was that he arrived in Chennai a shadow of his former self but with a daring optimism that he had finally rid himself of the remnants of whatever intestinal curse Kolkata had brought on our house.  

Arriving in the suburbs of Chennai and circling hunger with an understandable suspicion we chose to take the no chances dinner option – in the form of a five star hotel… A locked on recommendation from a friend and former Chennai resident our one evening in Chennai was spent in a place with only the eight different restaurants and more marble than there’s been in many a monument we’ve visited. He made a valiant attempt at a margarita pizza and I soldiered on with an ice cold chenin blanc and a crab ravioli which deserved all five of its stars.

Torn the next day between Jack’s 50% status and my unchecked need to give even the seemingly dingiest of places ‘it’s due’ we set off albeit a little half heartedly to tick off the sights the guide pointed to, relatively few in number as they were.  Marina beach and a light house with a lift (the only one in India…) Three words – clutching at straws.

But as always India never fails to surprise you. Redemptively we stumbled across a good looking white washed church, which we did the requisite lap of only to find the tomb of St Thomas. An unassuming church on a main road which housed the tomb and relics of one of the apostles - one of only three sites around the world.

So whilst I am a little perplexed to read Chennai is the 43rd most visited city on the world we can’t say it wasn’t once again memorable.

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"Hallucinating in an upper bunk"

Well, it turns out that our planned 26 hour train got us into Chennai only 30 hours after leaving Kolkata and rather than being the struggle I was expecting, I remember next to nothing of the journey. Nil by mouth except charcoal tablets, antibiotics and Imodium , I convalesced, hallucinating in an upper bunk while Helen mingled with our charming travel companions.

We emerge, stiff but rested (and me half the man I used to be) into Chennai and... still nothing. Even prompted, I can’t remember a thing about the place. I’m still not completely recovered at this stage but Helen tells me I pulled myself together manfully and we ate well and enjoyed gin cocktails in one of India’s best restaurants but no, nothing occurs to me to say. 

It’s time to put the last thousand miles behind us, draw a line under my weakness of body and spirit and head to the beach !


Fine Hindu temple in Chennai

Fine Hindu temple in Chennai


February 27, 2018 /James Jackson
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                                                    Kolkata

 

 

Day 37-40

8,399 miles

Day 37-40: Kolkata

February 27, 2018 by James Jackson

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"A lot of things are institutions in Kolkata"

We’re staying in a 215 year old institution, according to the guidebooks. The Fairlawn. 

We arrive to find the walls groaning with shots of all the great and good of India who have stayed before us and a not insignificant number of photos of the British royal family. Curious we thought. Curiouser still when we’re shown through the door of our room to find an enormous portrait of Princess Margaret hanging by the bed!

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It seems lots of things are called institutions in Kolkata - we were staying in one and we ate (twice) in one but it was our constitution which lets us down. Me emotionally, with a cloud of homesickness appearing overhead, much like Kolkata’s rain clouds which hung around for a few days, and Jack physically overcome as he was with his/our first bout of Delhi Belly...

Prior to then though we did enjoy some exceptional food at (the institution) Mocambo’s, where we originally went for their renowned Gimlet and ended up staying for lunch and then dinner the following evening. At which point we knew the manager quite well which came in handy when we arrived the second time to queues around the block.

Aside from some good eating (Jack’s gastric poisoning to one side...) Kolkata was unfortunately a bit of a wash out - no real fault of its own. The races were rained off, as was the outdoor Jazz festival and the remainder of our time was bedroom bound - although I actually thoroughly enjoyed a Sunday night in watching films - inspite of Jack’s delirium - and listening to the strains of Elvis at Christmas from the Mall across the street.

From what we saw, India’s litter problem to one side which does blight its beauty sometimes, Kolkata was a very cosmopolitan city - expensive and cultured and without much of a sense of its black hole past. 

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"Gastric gymnastics"

 

For something like 150 years, Calcutta was the capital of British India and and the traces of its colonial past are much in evidence, from the street names to the dining and drinking culture and very obviously in its architecture and large parks. Whole streets could have been plucked from Whitehall or Bath and, although a bit dingy, the place has a more familiar feel than many of the places we’ve been. 

Or so I’m told. My time in the city was mostly spent wearing a groove between the bed and the bathroom, gripped in the throes of a particularly evil stomach complaint. We knew we’d get sick at some point - everyone does - but little could have prepared me for the sheer catastrophic, explosive violence of this. I’ll let your imagination fill in the most noxious details but in brief, I was startled in the night by events over which I had only the barest control and spent the next day running the full spectrum of bodily horrors, every muscle pressed into service as I contorted and spasmed for 24 sweaty hours. I’m not too proud to say that I was a pathetic and useless creature for that time, whimpering and shivering while my body wreaked cruel revenge for some unknown sin. As bad as it was for me, it was no picnic for Helen, either but she did a decent Florence Nightingale impression, ensuring I was hydrated and cared for and with no hint of disgust or amusement at my plight. It’s good to have a partner in travel. Being abandoned and alone would have been immeasurably worse. Good for me anyway, I’m sure she could have lived without it!

With a day lost to gastric gymnastics and a day spent in recovery, I didn’t see much of Kolkata but was left with an impression of a shabbiness. The biggest cheerleader for the town would struggle to describe it as beautiful (though the Victoria Memorial is a stunning marble palace to rival almost anything in the UK. Were it not for its unmistakable, unapologetic, unsubtle Britishness, it would likely feature in any list of must-see Indian monuments.) It’s almost certainly a side-effect of illness and our recent journeys through the less-spoiled rural states but I found it unlovely and dirty - and by this stage we’re pretty forgiving of India’s general muckiness. My general feeling was one of very faded grandeur, as summed up by our hotel, The Fairlawn. An institution among expats and travelling Brits in days gone by, its best is long behind it and is tatty and a little down-at-heel, for all that an oversized print of Princess Margaret glowers down at us from above the bed.

Even writing this, I recognise that I’ve hardly given the city its due. In its favour, it does certainly have an energetic, industrious vibe. For the first time, we’ve noticed people going out en masse; the restaurants and bars - pubs, even - are heaving from the moment the city knocks off work and there’s a definite sense of a culture of entertainment and leisure that’s been absent so far. The middle class are much in evidence and we embark on an evening pub crawl, chatting with enthusiastic locals queuing for entry to smart eateries and grubby dive bars. We’re not the only ones to have noticed this new category of disposable income - the taxes here are incredible; on food, on liquor, on imported goods, on drinking in a place with a band, even drinking in a place playing recorded music. Unthinkingly, I buy a couple of bottles of beer and am hit with a bill that would make a London publican blush. The music tax is explained to me and Helen has to arrest my black mood as I sit sulking at the bar and cursing the wretched cover band mangling Lynrd Skynrd in the corner. In spite of everything, we have a great night and I’m forced to revise my opinion of Kolkata. A little.

Utterly washed out and feeling very fragile, its time to move on. Our longest train journey yet, 26 hours to Chennai, formerly Madras. We’ve really enjoyed all the journeys we’ve taken so far but I’d be lying if I said I was looking forward to this one...

 

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February 27, 2018 /James Jackson
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Varanasi & 

Bodhgaya

 

 

Day 33-37

7,993 miles

Day 33-37: Varanasi & Bodhgaya

December 17, 2017 by James Jackson

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"Life, death and laundry"

Unlike some of the other cities we’d visited where expectations hadn’t fully formed prior to our arrival, Varanasi’s reputation very much preceded it; and coming as it did straight after our enforced hotel arrest in Lucknow the culture shock hit me all the harder.

Waking up in a beautiful hotel room lulls you into a certain state and after 5 weeks here it’s clear that India requires all of you, it demands that you’re present. Its not a place you can meander through mindlessly – it requires your attention and concentration and after being cocooned for 3 days in a very nice place which could really have been anywhere is the world – Varanasi felt like we’d been parachuted back into India proper.

Everything is laid bare here – literally life and death happening in front of your eyes – and laundry of course. Lots of laundry. It’s one of India’s holiest places and also one of its busiest with its tiny narrow streets making it feel all the more hectic.

That could be claustrophobia evaporated in a moment though when we walked onto the balcony of our hotel and the sight of the Ganges stretching out – wider and as wonderous as you might imagine.

Sunrise boat trip on Ganga

Sunrise boat trip on Ganga

So with that spell cast we dumped our bags and pulled up two chairs to watch life happen on this mystical river. (As well as two American kids nearly get arrested for flying their drone over it and unintentionally filming women bathing…)

As we sat we were joined by a charming a very well travelled German man named Stefan, a self confessed chatterbox who over two beers regaled us with tales of fifty years of globe trotting – including details of a brief love affair with another Helen on a boat from Mumbai to Madgaon when he was twenty. The next morning we were presented with three pieces of note paper filled with recommendations and must sees in Goa and Sri Lanka. Another special encounter in an extremely special place for so many.

The Ghats

The Ghats

And it’s genuinely true to say that life and death surrounds you here. The city’s bustle and vibrancy regularly presents you with unexpected sights that you just wouldn’t find anywhere else. Sitting in a café enjoying a Lassi and three dead people shrouded in bright orange cloth are carried by, with motor bikes following, beeping as usual with places to be. And waiting to board our train to another holy sight of pilgrimage for Buddhists we glanced down to see an old woman squatting next to a body lying on the platform wrapped in white sheets – very much on it’s final journey. Life and death side by side unapologetically.

Whilst our three hour (and three hour delayed) day trip to Bodhgaya was perhaps an unnecessary detour it was absolutely a welcome one. Having found out on the journey that our next train to Kolkata was cancelled… I arrived rather fed up of Indian Rail. Not least because the website informed us that our train was likely to be cancelled for the foreseeable future…

We’d already experienced one bun fight for tickets at another reservations desk – queues seem to be frowned upon with pushing and finagling oneself to the front the by far preferred route – so we weren’t exactly jumping for joy at the prospect of never getting to the City of Joy.

But stand we did, having filled out a two page multiple section form detailing exactly what train we wanted to get. As a female I had my own queue, helpfully pointed out after half an hour in the non gender specific one which did expedite things a little but only following some finagling on my own part. Having inwardly complained about everyone in front of us for the last half hour we were then the people who crowd the enquiries window for an age… Fifteen minutes later we were on a waiting list for two bunks on the next train to Kolkata the following day with six people in the virtual line ahead of us. As we harrumphed past the line of people behind us, which had doubled in size I felt the need to apologise for keeping everyone waiting and was greeted with shakes of the head and reassurances that there was no need for any sorrys – “We’re glad to have you in our country ma’am”. That being just one occasion when ‘India’ re-balances you – from annoyed and crotchety to grateful and optimistic.

This personal spiritual development perhaps unsurprising continued to be encouraged during our 30 hour stay in one of Buddhism’s most important sites of pilgrimage, where, you know, everyone was utterly delightful to us.

The hosts of our most budget hotel so far could not have done enough for us – feeding us at more than regular intervals and ferrying us to all the important sites including the Mahabodhi Temple Complex where Gautama Buddha is said to have obtained enlightenment under what became known as the Bodhi Tree – a tree which is still there…

Security was incredibly tight to enter possibly due to a terror attack which took place there in 2013 when 10 blasts were detonated across the complex or potentially due to the enormous multi country chanting ceremony which was happening – the thirteenth annual Tipitaka – lucky for us.

I can definitely see why somewhere like that would help you locate some inner peace – a truly hypnotic experience and one which definitely took the edge off our train woes. As it happened we returned to a text saying we’d been successful in our waiting list endeavours (just waiting really) and we would board another train to Kolkata afterall.

And even though that train was then delayed by thirteen hours we were able to embrace what would otherwise have been a pain in the arse (in more ways than one) squat on the platform because our lovely hosts let us stay in our room – without charge – until we eventually left. They are due some excellent karma. 

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"Colourful and chaotic"

 

Getting to and away from Varanasi has been such a pain, it's a drag just thinking about it. In brief, one train delayed by ten hours, one train abruptly cancelled for the next fortnight, one 6-hour taxi(!), countless hours queuing in the scrum at railway station ticket counters, one hotel booking failure, turned away from another hotel for being foreigners, tired, dirty, grouchy, touch of flu and now overbudget. But success in the end.

We were a bit unsure of what to expect from the holy city of Varanasi. Pilgrims, hippies and tourists. Bathing in the famously horrible Ganges. Cremation ceremonies on the river. We braced ourselves for an assault on the senses but weren't at all prepared for what we found. Varanasi is energetic, exciting and weirdly charming. The river is wide and attractive and sure, you'd think twice about drinking from it but that's true of everywhere. The Ganges is lined with ghats, broad steps and platforms that lead down to the water and are occupied by holy men in saffron or loincloths, meditating behind long beards or caked in white clay. They share the space with devotees ritually bathing, snoozing boatmen, ordinary people taking their ablutions, dobi-wallahs beating laundry, sacred cows, bad-tempered goats, lazy dogs and dilettante tourists like us.

A morning swimmer!

A morning swimmer!

Behind the ghats are a warren of tiny streets that defy all maps and are so narrow that the cows plod round them one way, unable to turn round and oblivious to the inconvenience they cause. It's colourful and chaotic and the place fills the eyes (or it would if they weren't fixed to the floor; the cows really do make the place their own.)

We take in the thrilling sunset ceremonies, worshippers dedicating praise to Ma Ganga, and take a boat up and down the river at dawn. The Ganges is a riot of activity at all times, domestic chores and ablutions carrying on around the important business of death and farewell. The Burning Ghats are famed of course and the pyres smoulder all day. Bodies swaddled in purple, orange and gold are brought through the twisty streets in procession, trailed by boisterous, hollering mourners - though there’s nothing very mournful or solemn about the way that a person’s passing is marked here; there’s little place for quiet reserve.

We choose not to attend a burning ceremony- not out of squeamishness, there’s nothing very disturbing about cremation itself. Rather, we’d feel like voyeurs at someone else’s funeral. These events aren’t private, far from it, but it struck us as a bit of a ghoulish flavour of tourism. Perhaps that’s a little precious but it was our instinct at the time.

A couple of days in Varanasi was far less exhausting than we’d expected - surprisingly restful, if anything. Still, we had plannned to take a break and get out into the sticks, alternating as we do between city and countryside for the sake of our sanity. Taking online advice from well-travelled friends we jump a train bound for Bodhgaya,  where in 528 BC, Buddha found Enlightenment sitting under a fig tree. Where better to take a breath and relax?

Worldly matters intrude almost immediately though as we soon discover that our onward train to Kolkata is cancelled for the next two weeks. The frustratingly vague reason given; ‘fog’. This necessitates a few tedious hours in queues at Gaya Junction railway station, beset by fat bluebottles and impenetrable rail timetables as we re-plan our next journeys. It’s an unlovely experience but one were well used to by now.

Bodhgaya is very basic, beyond the dozens of beautiful Buddhist monasteries but our guesthouse is clean and the staff delightful. We meet spiritual types from around the world, including Victory, from Nepal. Only later do we discover that she was robbed a fortnight before and is making her way to Khatmandu relying on the charity of Bhuddists along the way. Our hosts are putting her up for free and others ensuring she’s able to catch a bus to the border. We talk global politics and meditation with a decent-hearted American charity volunteer and watch slightly bemused as our dinner guests offer the last rites to a dying fly before gently laying it to rest. This only minutes after Helen swatted a mosquito out of the sky with a triumphant “Gotcha!” The Bhuddists are forgiving of us. That’s kind of their thing.

I eat a lot of momos; Nepalese dumplings, steamed or fried and addictively delicious.

More through luck than judgement we arrive at Mahbodhi, the temple built around the Bodhi tree itself, in the middle of the annual Tipitaka chanting ceremony. Over 4,000 monks, delegations from monasteries around the world, chant from the sacred texts in shifts non-stop for a week. It’s night and the air is warm and heavy with joss and jasmine and the repetitive bass-heavy mantras of the chanting monks is hypnotically soothing. We pick our way around saffron-robed men and women in cross-legged trances and sit for a while under the ancient tree while holy men expound on the function and practise of meditation. Structured, spiritual meditation of that sort will never be for me but the experience is undeniably pleasant and peaceful. Even if a lifetime of bad Kung-fu movies means I can’t shake the notion that someone’s going to get kicked through a wall at any moment.

The big fella

The big fella


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December 17, 2017 /James Jackson
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Lucknow

 

 

Day 30-33

7,662 miles

Day 30-33: Lucknow

December 17, 2017 by James Jackson

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"Lady Lucknow had other things in mind"

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The hotel car... A Morris!

The hotel car... A Morris!

Kipling (he got round India a bit didn’t he) said ‘no city – except Bombay – is more beautiful in her garish style than Lucknow’.

Sprawled along the river Gomti Lucknow has cultivated somewhat of a reputation for its food which is why we’re here – much to the cheerful surprise of most people who we’ve told we were coming. Lucknow? How wonderful, tourists never bother to go to Lucknow.

And one could say, although not me obviously, that we had lucked out in Lucknow… arriving as we did during their annual festival of culture. As well as a carnival the festival or Mahotsav also includes things like competitive kite flying – something we’ve noticed already is a very popular pastime here - hundreds of food stalls celebrating Nawabi cuisine and traditional ghazal dancing (Youtube tells me it’s a bit like belly-dancing).

As it turned out though Lady Luck(now) had other things in mind for us – namely a blood test for me (Malaria – negative) and two days ‘relaxing’ / hibernating whilst I convalesced from a 39.8 temperature…

So there’s very little I can tell you about Lucknow save it has some very lovely hotel rooms – turns out we needed two hotels in the end as our train to Varanasi was also cancelled resulting in a 8 hour taxi ride to our next home. Not to worry, unlike Varanasi it thankfully wasn’t a matter of life and death…

 

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December 17, 2017 /James Jackson
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Agra

Day 28-30

7,476 miles

Day 28-30: Agra & Fatehpur Sikri

December 17, 2017 by James Jackson

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"You cannot help yourself pausing for another quick look"

It should be a recognised condition. Taj Mahal Surprise – the state of being you find yourself in whenever you look around and see the Taj Mahal. And what an excellent surprise it is too.

Having arrived into Agra at 8.30am and therefore after the supposed magical witching hour when it's best to see Agra’s monument to a love lost, we spend the day taking in the oft overlooked sites Agra has to offer, because of course everyone really just comes here for the main event.

But nevertheless a most agreeable afternoon was spent being ferried about by the ageing Uncle of our homestay’s family who waited as we wandered, surprised and wide eyed again and again by the spectacle of the white dome in the distance, visiting the town’s Fort and Taj Mahal predecessor, the charmingly named, Baby Taj.

Perhaps what comes next goes without saying or rather has been said countless times before, but as this is a diary it shouldn’t really go undocumented – the Taj Mahal proper is magnificent. It’s everything all the poets and scholars have ever written down about it and it is a privilege to see with my own eyes.

The 6am queues moved quickly and as we enter by the western gate the view of it is obscured, purposefully limited, like you’re peeking through a key hole. Only when you pass through the gateway arch does it unveil itself in all its glory. Once the photos were captured, the next few hours were simply filled with us gawping at it from different locations. It definitely casts a spell and even though we’d gazed at it (from afar) for hours on end over the previous 36 hours, you cannot help yourself just pausing and turning around for another quick look ahead of leaving.

And just one more observation. As we sat the previous day in a fairly average rooftop café with reportedly ‘the best views of the Taj’ in town it occurred that all the real estate around us may very well be prime but was still in actual fact just a mass of local people’s houses. No developers had bulldozed it to build, no big hotel chains had scooped up the land for some big bucks gain. I doubt you’d be able to say the same in most other countries. Instead the locals get the very best views – I wonder if they find themselves just having one last look before bedtime too. 

Rather than linger in tiny Agra we decided to take a short detour (only an hour long bus journey but I suspect the whiplash will stay with us for longer) to Fatehpur Sikri – a fortified city, still in incredible nick after 450 years, where Emperor Akbar built his new capital and stayed for ten minutes (14 years).

We’ve read quite a lot around our mostly historical tour of India so far – modern culture, food and reclining in hammocks reading Kindles is to come – and Akbar is absolutely one of the stand out characters.

4ft 10, 900 wives, forward thinking – at Fatehpur Sikri he built three palaces for each of his favourite wives – one a Hindu, one a Muslim and one a Christian. He was incredibly well read, even though he couldn’t read himself he insisted on taking his library of over 12,000 books with him whenever he travelled.

Having decided to spend the night in Fatehpur Sikri rather than get the no suspension bus straight back to Agra, we soon realised this once magnificent capital has a little less going on these days and indeed no places to eat (and by that I mean no places that wouldn’t have a condemned rating in the UK by the Food Standard’s Agency…) So we sat in our roadside hotel and ate cheese and onion toasties and chips (marsala fries before you judge us too harshly) and two cans of Kingfisher lager.

I told you the food and culture is coming soon! Lucknow, don’t let me down

 

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“The Taj Mahal rises above the banks of the river, a tear drop on the face of time, echoing the cry, “I have not forgotten! I have not forgotten, O beloved!””
— Tagore - India's Nobel poet laureate

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December 17, 2017 /James Jackson
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